Envious
by magictoast15
Summary: To Woody, it seems that Jessie has everything he has lost.
1. New Life, New Troubles

**Author's Note: Yay for me finally posting a story on here! It's my first Toy Story fic as well. I started writing it about three months ago and have been posting it DeviantArt, but now it's finally on here! I already have the first four chapters done, so those will be up within the next few minutes. I hope ya'll enjoy it! Just to let you know, I can usually get the chapters posted up sooner on DA than on here, so that might be a better way to read each chapter sooner. Constructive criticism is very much appreciated. :)**

Only about a week and a half had passed since Andy's toys had found a new home, but it was already almost painfully clear who Bonnie's new favorite toy was. Though Woody, Buzz and the others were highly treasured by the little girl, the certain way her face would light up whenever she saw Jessie made it unmistakeable; she loved the beautiful, red-haired cowgirl doll more than any of her other toys.

And that was part of the reason why Woody had been having such a hard time adjusting to their new life. Not only did he have to get used to a new home, new friends and a new owner, but he also had to learn to accept that he was no longer the favorite toy in the bedroom. Which, seeing as he had been, in many ways, Andy's best friend for so many years, was understandably difficult for him.

It was on the Thursday after the toys had arrived at Bonnie's house that the Andersons were going to leave for Bonnie's grandparent's house for the weekend. Mr. and Mrs. Anderson were upstairs finishing packing, while Bonnie was in her bedroom playing with her toys.

"Oh no," Bonnie said in her best Sheriff Woody voice, "The evil witch has kidnapped me! I need someone to save me before she uses her evil witchy powers on me!"

"I'll save you Woody," she said, switching her voice to sound like Jessie. "Here, grab my hand! We'll ride away on my horse before the witch catches us! Come here Bullseye!"

She grabbed Bullseye and set Jessie and Woody down on his saddle, then made them "ride away" from the "evil witch," AKA Dolly.

"You saved me Jessie," Bonnie said, resuming her Woody voice. "You're the most greatest cowgirl ever!"

"Bonnie," Mrs. Anderson called, "I need you to come in here for a minute okay?"

"Okay Mom," Bonnie shouted as she let her toys fall to the ground and ran upstairs.

As soon as the coast was clear, Woody began to sit up. He moaned a little from the pain of suddenly being dropped to the floor, then looked over at Jessie. She was beaming with happiness over once again being the one to come to the rescue. _Andy__ never __would've__ made __**her**__ save__** me,**_ Woody caught himself thinking.

It was true though. During their playtimes with Andy, Woody and Buzz were the heroes, while Jessie was their sidekick. Occasionally she would be the damsel in distress, but usually that role was filled by Bo Peep or one of Molly's other dolls. But never was Woody the one who needed to be saved.

With Bonnie it was different. It was as though she had switched their roles; in her times of play, it was Woody or Buzz who would be captured or trapped by witches, ghosts, monsters and other terrible things, while Jessie was usually the one to rescue them. No one was certain why she played that way, but Woody suspected it had something to do with the fact that Jessie was her favorite toy and that she liked to imagine her always being the heroine. Why one of Bonnie's dolls couldn't be the one always in need was beyond Woody.

Buzz didn't seem to mind any of this. Although part of him longed to be the hero, he was glad to see that it made Jessie happy to be loved in a way that she hadn't been loved since she had lost Emily so long ago. Sure, Andy had loved her, but not in the same way a child loves their favorite toy. Woody, on the other hand, couldn't seem to hold back feelings of jealousy toward her. Seeing her so much more cheerful than usual after a day of playing with Bonnie made his teeth itch sometimes.

"Wasn't that so much fun? I've gotta admit, it feels good bein' played with like that all the time again, doesn't it Woody?" Jessie asked excitedly.

"Yeah, sure..." Woody replied with a small frown on his face.

Jessie looked concerned. "Is somethin' wrong Woody? You've been actin' kinda strange ever since we first got here."

Voices were heard in the hallway before Woody had a chance to say anything in reply. All the toys went limp almost immediately.

"But Mom, why can't I bring more than one toy to Grandma and Grandpa's house?"

"I already told you sweetie, we don't have enough room in the car for you to bring a bunch of toys. Now go pick out which toy you want to bring because we're leaving right now, okay?"

_ Just __one __toy._ Woody began to feel a strong sense of deja vu. He could guess who would be picked.

"Okay Mom," Bonnie replied somewhat sadly as she opened the door to her bedroom and walked in. She wished she could bring all of her toys with her. But since her only option was to choose just one of them, she picked Jessie up off of the floor.

"We're to going to Grandma and Grandpa's house for a few days," Bonnie told her toys, "So Woody, Buzz and Dolly, you guys better take good care of everybody while Jessie and I are gone, okay?"

_ You can count on us Bonnie._

"Bonnie?" Mrs. Anderson called from downstairs.

"Coming Mom!" Bonnie yelled. "Bye everybody," she said to her toys before making Jessie wave goodbye to everyone and running out the door.

Jessie couldn't help wondering what was going on with Woody. _Guess__ I'll __have__ to__ wait __until__ we__ get __back __to __find__ out,_ she thought.


	2. Sulky

It was Saturday, and while Bonnie and Jessie were away having fun with Mr. Anderson's parents, things were rather dull back in Bonnie's bedroom due to the absence of the imaginative little girl and her energetic cowgirl doll, though the toys were enjoying the freedom of having the whole house to themselves.

Nothing too exciting was going on. Mrs. Potatohead was reading _Mr. __Popper's __Penguins_ out loud to her three alien children, the Peas in a Pod and anyone else who cared to listen, several toys were gathered around watching Slinky and Dolly, who were engaged in a rather competitive game of checkers (Slink had originally invited Woody to play, but the sheriff had refused), and the two dinosaurs Rex and Trixie were discussing how to beat the next level of a video game they had been playing. Meanwhile, a few of Bonnie's playthings had retreated downstairs to the living room to watch TV, including Buzz, who had somewhat miraculously been able to talk Woody into coming with him. However, while the other toys were sitting on the couch in front of the television, the cowboy found a way to climb up onto a windowsill. There was a chair right underneath the window that gave him easy access. Once he made it up there, he sat down and began to sulk. It seemed like that was all he had been doing for the past couple of days.

Buzz looked over at his friend and sighed. _Maybe __it's__ best__ to__ just__ leave__ him__ alone __for__ now,_ he thought, then turned back to the TV. A horse documentary was on. Buzz couldn't help but smile a little. _Jessie__ would__ love__ this,_ he thought. He missed her more than he had thought he would.

The day went on, and after the documentary was over the other toys decided to watch a baseball game. Having previously discovered that he did not particularly enjoy watching baseball, Buzz went to find something else to do. He spotted Woody, who was still seated up on the windowsill. _Maybe __I__ should__ try __to__ talk__ to__ him._ He climbed up onto the chair that was under the window. "Um, Woody, would you be interested in playing a game of _Life_ with me?" he asked.

"No. Just leave me alone," Woody replied, perhaps a little more harshly than he had meant to.

"Oh come on Woody. I'll let you use the green car."

"I don't care."

"I'll let you have the doctor job then."

"Why won't you just leave me alone?"

"What is it going to take to get you to talk to me?"

"And just why is it so important that I talk to you?"

"Because something's wrong with you, and keeping it locked up inside you will do you more harm than good!"

Woody paused for a moment, suddenly realizing he had a golden opportunity here that simply could not be missed, no matter what the cost would be. He turned to Buzz with a mischievous grin on his face.

"Alright, listen Buzz. I'll play a game with you, on one condition."

"Name it."

Woody's grin grew even wider. "As soon as Jessie gets home, you have to tell her the story of a certain Mrs. Nesbit."

"Oh come on..."

"I'll just be up here then."

"Fine. I was going to tell her about it soon anyway."

"Yeah, of course you were," Woody said as he began to climb down.

* * *

><p>"So cowboy, are you just going to keep sitting there, or are you going to play your turn?" Buzz inquired.<p>

"I'm going, Mr. You'd-Better-Do-What-I-Say-As-Fast-As-Possible."

"You know, I'd hoped you would at least try to enjoy this game, considering what I'm going to have to go through because of it."

"Well, it'll be worth it, no matter how much I'd rather not be playing."

"Ha ha."

Meanwhile, Bullseye became bored and had started to chase after a small rubber ball he had found underneath the couch. He was running around with it, when suddenly, he accidentally kicked it onto Buzz and Woody's board game, scattering the cards and knocking down all of the pieces.

"Bullseye, no!" Woody yelled. "Look what you did!"

The toy horse hung his head in shame. He gave Woody an apologetic look, as though he was trying to say "I'm sorry."

Woody sighed in frustration. "This is going to take forever to set up again," he said as he bent down to pick up the mess. He put his car back to the place where it had been before and saw that Buzz was putting his own car on a pay day space.

"Buzz," Woody said, "What are you doing? You did not land on that pay day yet."

"What are you talking about? On my last turn I went three spaces and landed right here."

"Oh no you did not, Buzz Lightyear."

"Yes I did. You know I did. What's going on with you lately?" Buzz asked as he picked up the cards.

"Nothing's going on. I'm just a little... stressed out, that's all."

"I think I'd say that say that irritable, cranky and sulky would be better words to describe how you've been behaving lately."

"Well that's your opinion, and you're certainly entitled to it."

"Woody, seriously, what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong Buzz," Woody said almost forcefully.

"Wait... this doesn't have anything to with Bonnie choosing to take Jessie instead of you does it?"

"No, of course not."

"So you're admitting that there is something wrong."

"Why should I tell you about it?" Woody sighed heavily. "You wouldn't understand, you're her boyfriend after all."

"I would prefer that you not use the term 'boyfriend' when referring to me and my relationship with Jessie. It sounds so... juvenile."

"Alright then, Mr. I'm-Too-Mature-To-Use-Words-Like-Boyfriend, how about I call you her beau?"

"Fine. But you still haven't really told me anything."

"Forget it Buzz," Woody said as he started to stand up. "I'm done with this stupid game. You can find someone else to finish it with. So long, partner."

"Woody!" Buzz yelled, but the cowboy made it upstairs before Buzz could stop him. "Oh Woody," he said in an exasperated tone. Buzz thought, _You__ know,__ considering__ what __I'm__ going __to __have __to__ pay__ for __that__ game,__ I__ had __hoped __it __would__ go__ a__ little__ better..._


	3. Lonely

It was late by the time Bonnie and her family arrived home on Sunday night, and she had fallen fast asleep in the car. Her father carried her into the house, while Jessie was being tightly held by the sleeping girl. Mr. Anderson had considered waking Bonnie up in order to brush her teeth and put her pajamas on, but decided against it. He laid her carefully down onto her bed, pulled the covers over her, gently kissed her on the forehead and quietly left the room.

As soon as Bonnie loosened her hold on Jessie, the cowgirl quietly slipped away, being careful not to wake her sleeping owner. She climbed down from the bed and made her way over to Buzz, who, after Mr. Anderson had left, had been pacing around aimlessly, unable to sleep. Woody, who had not yet attempted sleep, was in what had become his usual spot, namely the windowsill. However, instead of looking out at the stars, he was staring down at the floor, when he spotted Jessie quietly running to greet Buzz. He saw her quietly and yet enthusiastically hug the space toy. The two exchanged several quiet words of greeting which were inaudible to Woody from where he sat next to the window. Jessie then noticed Woody sitting in his spot and proceeded to climb up onto Bonnie's desk, which happened to be right below the window. After that, she pulled herself up onto the windowsill right next to the cowboy.

Woody forced himself to put on a fake smile as Jessie gave him a big hug. "Howdy there sheriff! I missed you this weekend," she greeted him.

"Hey Jess," he replied, not able to bring himself to lie about missing her in return.

"Somethin' eatin' ya Woody?" she said, noticing the rather cold way in which he received her happy hello.

"According to Buzz there is."

"And according to you?"

"According to me, no one will believe me when I say I'm just stressed out because of everything that's happened. The past few weeks haven't exactly been the easiest you know. You'd think people would expect me to be this way after everything we went through."

"Okay, okay... whatever you say. No need to get snippy about it."

Woody sighed in exasperation. "Listen Jess, I think Buzz has something he wants to tell you to about. You should probably go talk to him."

"Alright. I'll see you in the morning," she said as he jumped down from the window as quietly as possible. She found Buzz, and few minutes later giggles could be heard coming from where the two were talking under the bed. Woody, though he was slightly worried that the noise would wake one of the other toys or even worse, Bonnie, couldn't help but grin, knowing exactly why Jessie was laughing. _Guess __the__ secret's__ finally__ out,_ he thought.

He suddenly felt the all too familiar pang of loneliness, remembering the many nights he and Bo Peep had spent hiding away together. Many times they would end up just laughing at nothing in particular for hours. Those were really the only times he had ever seen her actually laugh. It seemed like he was the only one who could ever get her to lighten up and giggle. Not that she was serious all the time, but she just wasn't the type to laugh very much.

Woody looked up at the stars. _Where __is__ she__ now?__ Is __she__ okay?__ Does __her__ owner __treat__ her__ well?__ Does __she__s till__ even __have __an__ owner?_ he wondered for the millionth time. All could do was hold on to the hope that he'd find her someday, just like he had promised.

He heard Jessie laugh again, and he felt envy toward her slowly rising inside him once more. She seemed to have everything he had lost; an owner who cherished her more than the rest, and a toy who loved her more than anything else. And Woody was left with just his loneliness and jealousy.


	4. An Urgent Message

The toys heard the sound of a car in the driveway. Bonnie was home from school. The toys resumed their positions and Bonnie appeared in her room only a few moments later.

"I wish I could play with you guys," she said as she dropped her backpack on the floor, "but Mommy and I are going clothes shopping today! Bye!" she said, and was gone again.

The toys came back to life after they heard the car driving away. Slinky saw Bonnie's backpack laying on the floor and noticed that for some reason it was open and a few papers had fallen out. He also noticed that one of the papers was folded and had the words _To__Woody_ written on it.

"Woody, there seems to be a note for you here in Bonnie's backpack," Slink called to the cowboy, who had been discussing something with Dolly.

"Who's it from?" Woody asked.

"Doesn't say, at least not on the front."

"Here, let me see it," Woody said as he walked over and picked up the note.

_Woody, you need to come to Sunnyside with Bonnie tomorrow. Something happened, and it's too important for me to just send you a letter about it._

_Barbie_

"That's all it says?" questioned Slink.

"Yep, that's it," Woody replied.

"Wonder what's goin' on. You think Lotso coulda found his way back there?"

"I doubt it. Plus I think she would have just told me if Lotso had come around again."

"Then what do you think is goin' on?"

"I don't know Slink. I'll just have to go to Sunnyside with Bonnie tomorrow and find out."

"Guess you won't be sleepin' much tonight then."

"You've got that right."

As Woody had expected, several toys were curious as to why Woody was trying to stowaway to Sunnyside in Bonnie's backpack, so he told them about the note he had received from Barbie. After Bonnie arrived home from school that day, the toys were all anxious to hear what Woody had to say, but Bonnie had left her backpack on the floor before going downstairs, and Woody hadn't come out yet.

"Do you think he might've gotten left at Sunnyside?" Jessie asked Buzz nervously. Though if she were completely honest, she wouldn't have minded much if he had been left behind; he hadn't exactly had the nicest attitude toward her lately.

"I doubt it," Buzz replied. "After all, Bonnie knew he was there. She wouldn't have left without him."

"Should we just open the backpack and make sure he's in there?" Dolly wondered.

"Why hasn't he come out yet?" Rex asked anxiously.

"Listen, there's no need to panic. Like Dolly suggested, let's open up the backpack and see if he's in there," Buzz said.

But before they could do that, the backpack began to slowly be unzipped from the inside and Woody emerged.

"Oh Woody," Rex exclaimed, "I'm so glad you weren't left behind!"

Buzz noticed that Woody didn't seem to share in Rex's happiness. He could tell from the sad look on his best friend's face that something was very wrong.

"Woody, what's going on? What did Barbie tell you?" he asked.

Woody took a deep breath and spoke slowly. "Bo showed up at Sunnyside. But she..." He couldn't seem to get the words out. "An accident happened, and... she was shattered."


	5. Shattered

**Author's Note: Hi all! Hope you are enjoying the story so far. Unfortunately, NaNoWriMo starts today, so I won't be able to update for a least a month. I struggled a bit with the order of some of the scenes, so I hope it's not confusing or anything. I would love to get a review or two. ;) On a random note, I was Jessie for Halloween yesterday. It was fun! :D Anyway, I hope you enjoy this new chapter!**

Slinky's assumption had indeed been correct; Woody did not sleep at all that night, due to the fact that he was trying to devise a plan to get to Sunnyside with Bonnie in the morning. He had to slap himself though when he remembered that tomorrow was Show-And-Tell and that Bonnie had been planning to bring a certain red-haired cowgirl to show to her class. It would be pretty easy for him to get Bonnie to take him to school with her, as long as Jessie went along with his new plan.

"Oh come on Jess, will you just do this one simple little thing for me?"

"Woody, I'm not hiding from Bonnie so that you can get her to take you to school with her! I can talk to Barbie for you if it's really all that important."

"But she specifically asked for _me_ to come. I need to be the one to go."

"But why can't we both go?"

"Because Bonnie's mom won't let her take more than one toy to school with her, you know that."

The cowgirl sighed in defeat. "I guess I'll do it then. But make sure it doesn't happen again," she said as she retreated to the closet so as to hide before Bonnie awoke.

"I'll see what I can do," he said, rolling his eyes a little. She could be so frustrating sometimes. _But __I __guess __that's __the __job__ of __every __little __sister, __to __frustrate __their__ older __brothers,_ he thought to himself.

* * *

><p>"An accident happened, and... she was shattered."<p>

A collective gasp came from the toys who originally belonged to Andy. A silence fell over the room, and an air of confusion was over those of Bonnie's toys who had never heard of Bo.

"Wh-what do you mean? What happened to her?" Jessie asked, the shocking news slowly beginning to sink in.

"I... I don't want to talk about it."

"Please Woody," Jessie persisted. It hurt not knowing how her friend had died.

"I said I don't want to talk about now! Just let me be alone!" He said angrily and walked off, finding a lonely spot underneath Bonnie's bed where he could grieve in peace.

Jessie began to sob (without actual tears of course, since toys don't have the physical ability to shed them) on Buzz's shoulder. He tried his best to comfort her.

Dolly quietly walked up behind Buzz and said, "I'm sorry, but I don't understand what's going on here. Who is Bo?"

"Well you see," Buzz explained, "Bo Peep was a Porcelain doll who came with a belongs to Andy's little sister, Molly. She was Woody's girlfriend."

"I see. But why wasn't she with you guys? What happened to her?"

"She was sold at a yard sale almost... five years ago, I think."

"Oh," Dolly responded. That was a familiar story to her. "Will he be okay?" she asked, referring to Woody.

"Eventually," Buzz replied. "Let's just let him have some time."

"I wish he would tell us what happened," Jessie said wistfully.

"He will when he's ready to, I guess," said Buzz.

* * *

><p>"Enough is enough," Dolly said to Buzz, sounding something close to indignant. "He has been under there for almost three days now. No one has seen him, and we still don't know exactly what happened. Someone needs to try to talk to him, at least to make sure he's okay."<p>

"I'd do it," Jessie said, "but considerin' the way he's been actin' towards me lately I doubt I'd be able to get anything out of him. I can't for the life of me figure out what's goin' on between me and him."

"I should talk to him," Buzz volunteered. "Just give me a minute."

The space toy lifted up the covers that were draped over the end of the bed and went under in search of his friend. He spotted the cowboy sitting up against the wall at the head of the bed with his arms hugging his knees. Buzz sat down next to him.

"Are you alright? Everyone's worried about you," he said, a look of concern etched into his features.

"No... no I'm not," Woody answered honestly. "I used to sometimes dream about seeing her again. And we were so _close._ It almost happened."

"Woody, what happened to her? Everyone wants to know. We were her friends too. We _need_ to know."

Woody gave in and began to tell the story.

* * *

><p>The mood among the toys of the Butterfly room was rather somber, Woody noticed. The kids were at recess now, which provided him the opportunity to finally speak to Barbie about her note. After searching for a few minutes, he found the plastic doll sitting behind the dream house. Her demeanor matched that of the rest of the toys; she seemed sad or upset about something.<p>

"Barbie?" Woody said, getting her attention. "I got your note yesterday... " As Barbie came over meet Woody, he noticed that she had been crying. Becoming slightly alarmed, he asked, "What's wrong?"

_Just __take__ a__ deep __breath,_ she thought to herself. _You __can__ do __this._

"Woody..." she began rather hesitantly. "Bo Peep showed up here at Sunnyside yesterday."

Woody was completely and utterly shocked by this news. That was the very last thing he had expected to hear. He couldn't speak for at least five whole seconds.

"But... how?" was all he could say once he finally had his voice back. "Where is she? And why do you look so..."

Before he could finish what he was saying, it clicked inside his head. _Something__ happened __to__ her._ Repeating his earlier question, he asked, with a tiny quiver of fear in his voice, "Barbie... where is she?"

Barbie bit her lip. "Let me tell you what happened," she began.

The sun was shining. Birds could be heard singing their beautiful songs outside. It was a wonderful morning. Nothing about it suggested to Barbie that this would be possibly one of the worst days of her life.

* * *

><p>The day started out very normal. Kids were playing with the toys, who had gladly been freed from the iron paw of Lotso' Huggin' Bear only about two weeks ago. Everyone at the daycare went about their business. It seemed to be just another average day at Sunnyside.<p>

That is, until one of the teachers, Mrs. Anderson (Bonnie's mother), came into the Butterfly room during recess. Under her left arm she was carrying a somewhat large brown box, and in her right hand she held a cell phone, which she had pressed up against her ear as she listened to and talked into it.

Barbie, who, along with the other toys, had become inanimate when the teacher had entered the room, couldn't figure out who the person on the other end of the phone was, other than that it was who ever had given Mrs. Anderson the box she was holding.

"Yes I did, Roger dropped it off over here just a few minutes ago... Thanks so much... I can't wait to show it all to Bonnie..."

Mrs. Anderson gently set the box down on a table in the classroom. It was obvious from the way she had handled the box that something easily breakable was inside. She then left the room, still talking on her cell phone.

_Why__ would__ she __leave__ that __box__ in__ here?__ It__ doesn't __look __like__ a__ donation,_ Barbie thought. She wasn't usually the curious type, but she decided that she wanted to see what was in that brown containment device. The other toys gathered around her to watch as she walked over, climbed onto the table and opened the lid of the box. What she saw in there was something she had never thought she would see again. There were some little girl sized clothes, some books and few games, and a lamp that came with a gorgeous porcelain shepherdess doll and her three-headed sheep.

"Bo?"

"Oh my goodness... Barbie!"

"Bo, I... I can't believe it!" Bo stood up inside the box, and the two of them embraced each other.

"How did you end up here?"

"It's a long story," Barbie explained. "But the gist of it is that Molly donated me almost two weeks ago."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Bo said, almost sounding sad. To think of her little Molly growing up...

Barbie sighed. "To be honest, I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner. But what are you doing here? It seems a little stupid for someone to give a porcelain doll to a daycare full of little kids," she observed.

"Oh, I'm not being donated to the daycare," Bo explained. "The mother of the little girl who bought me at that yard sale, Lily, was going to give some of Lily's outgrown clothes and things to her friend who works here, Mrs. Anderson is her name I think, and Lily decided she was ready to say goodbye to me. Bless her heart, she grew up so fast... Anyway, I was put in this box with all the other things and Lily's father dropped it all off here for Mrs. Anderson to take home."

"Did you say you're going with Mrs. Anderson?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well, Woody, Buzz, Jessie and Andy's other toys are living there now!"

"Oh my... but how? Why?"

"Well... it's part of the long story, but I guess I'll have to tell you."

"Why don't you come inside the box and sit down?" Bo suggested.

"Alright," Barbie replied as she did just that.

"So, what's the story?" Bo asked anxiously.

"A couple weeks ago, Andy was getting ready to head off to college..."

Barbie paused for a moment, nervous about telling the next part of the story.

"So," Woody interjected, trying to move the narrative along, "you told her what happened to us, then what?"

"We talked for maybe an hour. I told her all about Molly and Andy, and she told me about Lily. She said she couldn't have asked for a better owner. And she was so excited about being reunited with you and everyone else."

Barbie paused again to take a deep breath, then continued.

"Then another one of the teachers came into the room, and I got out of the box as soon as possible so she wouldn't see me in there. Then she accidentally knocked the box over. Bo fell out, and... shattered into a million tiny pieces on the floor."

Woody of course didn't have an actual human heart, but he could've sworn he felt something in his chest come to a stop at that moment.


	6. Hopeless

**Author's Note: Hey howdy hey everybody! I apologize for the long wait for this chapter. The last update was what, nine months ago? Just a warning, this chapter was hard to write, and I imagine it'll be hard to read as well. Grab your tissues.**

A Space Ranger is trained to know exactly what should be done in any and every situation. But after Woody finally told him about what had happened to Bo Peep, Buzz Lightyear found himself at complete loss, not having a clue what the proper thing to do or say next was. This was one type of situation that wasn't covered in the training at the Academy.

"I... I don't know what to say," Buzz admitted. "I'm sorry."

Woody only stared blankly at his own boots.

In an attempt to break the nearly awkward silence that hung between them, Buzz continued searching in his mind for the right things to say. _Something to help him... to cheer him up..._

"You'll be all right Woody, eventually," were the spaceman's chosen words. They were well-intended, but perhaps not the best words that he could have picked to say at that moment. Woody couldn't blame him for trying though.

"Not yet. Not for a long time..." the sheriff said, almost to himself, as though he had forgotten that Buzz was still there.

Buzz to felt a pang of sadness at hearing these words. "Don't say that."

"Just speakin' the truth."

"What truth?" Buzz countered, his faith in his ability to help his friend slowly building. "Woody, what would Bo do if she had seen you like this? Wouldn't she want you to be happy?"

Woody looked up. "Who are you to say what she would have wanted? If she were here, she would at least understand..."

"But Woody-"

Woody shut his eyes in mild anger. "Just... don't, Buzz."

Buzz listened to his own better judgement and decided to be quiet. But he now thought that he had been wrong to say what he had said about Bo, so he knew it would be best for him to apologize.

"I'm sorry Woody," he began. "I shouldn't have said what I said about Bo."

Much to Buzz's surprise, Woody sighed and said, "No, no, you were right Buzz. She would want me to be happy. I just... I can't. Not yet."

Woody lifted his head. His pupils darted back and forth, indicating to Buzz that his best friend was thinking about something.

He turned his head toward the Space Ranger. The expression on his face was worthy of being labeled as hopeless. "We were so close Buzz. We were only a few short hours away from being together again for the first time in _five years!_ Why did that stupid teacher have to go and ruin everything for us?" His question seemed more desperate than angry.

Buzz put his hand on his best friend's shoulder. "It was an accident, Woody."

Woody's small, quiet voice replied, "I know. I know. I guess I don't really blame her. I blame myself."

"Why?"

"I could have prevented it Buzz. If I had somehow been there-"

"Now stop right there Woody," Buzz interrupted. "You had no possible way of knowing what was happening. And even if you had somehow been there, it seems most likely that you wouldn't have been able to prevent the accident from happening. So there is no logical reason for you to place any blame on yourself."

"I guess I know that," Woody replied. "But I just can't shake this feeling that I'm somehow responsible."

Buzz's heart ached for his friend. He wasn't sure what he should say.

"You're one of our leaders Woody. I know you feel responsible for all of us. But you have to know that when an accident like this happens, it is _not _your fault."

Woody didn't respond. A few minutes of silence passed before Buzz could work up the courage to speak again. During that time, he noticed something.

Woody looked _exhausted. _His eyelids were drooping a little. His arms had fallen limply at his side. His hat had been removed and placed at his feet. His eyes were now slowly starting to close.

But they came open again when Buzz said, "Something else has been bothering you too." Buzz was sure he knew what it was, but the cowboy had refused to admit it.

Woody looked at Buzz. Buzz gave him a look that attempted to prod Woody to finally open up about this subject. Woody realized that he was tired of trying to hide this problem. He felt so borken. He gave in.

"When we first came to Bonnie's, I was naive and thought that all of my problems would go away. I thought that having a new owner would help me forget the things I wanted to forget and move on to a new life."

"But it didn't."

"It just multiplied them." At that moment, Woody badly wanted to finally lift up his boot for the first time since they had arrived at Bonnie's. He almost couldn't, because he was afraid of the emotions he might experience if he did. He dared himself to do it anyway. He bit his lip when he saw the name of his former owner scrawled on the bottom of his boot.

"You miss Andy."

"It's more than that though. You know, there's this sense of security that you get from having the kind of connection with your owner that Andy and I had. I always knew that even if he let all the other toys go, he'd still hang on to me. At least, I felt pretty sure he would."

"Everyone was always jealous of you, you know."

Woody smirked a little. "Yeah, well I'm not the one to be jealous of anymore." He sighed.

Understanding that he was talking about Jessie, Buzz said, "It's not her fault Woody."

"I realize that. But... well, you don't understand what it's like to lose that kind of relationship and security."

"No, I suppose I don't."

"But Jessie's gained it. And not only that, she has... someone." Woody was careful not to use the term "boyfriend," knowing how much Buzz disliked it.

Not quite understanding what Woody meant by that, Buzz thought for a second. He then realized what the sheriff was talking about. "You mean me?" he asked.

"Yeah. She and you have each other. I just lost the love of my life. Where does that leave me?"

Buzz turned and put his hands on Woody's shoulders. "It leaves you here with _us,_" Buzz told the cowboy. "We're your family, Woody. You'll always have us."

_Always... _that was exactly what Woody had once told Bo Peep. He had come to believe that there was no such thing as always. But at least he had his family _now._

As Buzz looked into his friend's eyes, he could have sworn that he saw something like a faint glimmer of hope in them. But it vanished almost as quickly as it had appeared.


End file.
